In A Moment

A couple of years ago I watched as my children left for their first day of school and I was reminded  of an Abba song:
"Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning/ Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile/ I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness/ And I have to sit down for a while/The feeling that I'm losing her forever /And without really entering her world/ I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter/ That funny little girl/ Slipping through my fingers all the time/ I try to capture every minute /The feeling in it/ Slipping through my fingers all the time/ Do I really see what's in her mind/ Each time I think I'm close to knowing/ She keeps on growing/ Slipping through my fingers all the time..."

I've heard people make the comment that they would love to freeze time.  I can certainly relate to that feeling. Although, I think I would rather have the ability to step back in time. I look at pictures of when my children were little and I just want to step back into those moments, to recapture their sweet innocence, to hear the funny things they would say. I’ve tried to write down as many of those funny things as I could, but so many others slip by, I couldn’t possibly record them all.

As time has rolled by I hope that I’ve learned some things.  I heard this saying not to long ago and had to commit it to memory, “The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention,” or in my words, be truly present in every situation, in every moment. As a mom that’s tough at times.  I look down through my planner and this one has to be at dance, this one at football, this one at volleyball, then there’s dinner, dentists, doctors, cleaning up the cat’s “accident”, laundry, etc., etc. Be present with them? I’ve felt as if I’m barely present in my own life. There have been times that I’ve seen my husband coming down the hall and have said, “Hey there stranger,” then gave that cutie a wink and a smile. Time is such a rare commodity that we’re spending it as if we’ve got an endless supply of it. I better stay focused, this posting is about moments in time, maybe I’ll write one about time management later…when I have some time.

I’ve decided that I need to make sure that I’m present in every moment. I might be trying to do ten things all at once, but somehow, someway, I need to be right there, listening, laughing, and enjoying the moment. The thing about kids, is that’s how fast those funny, sweet times happen, in a moment. It’s not something planned or contrived, it’s them racing around the island in my kitchen trying to tackle someone to the ground, then suddenly everyone collapses in a heap of laughter. I don’t care if they’re underfoot, I want them to keep going (just don’t break anything, please). I drink all the chaos in, the sounds, the scents, absorbing every detail, so that, well, I can write about it later and I'll smile at the memory, at that precious moment of time.

Talking about parenting moments and building a memory (good enough segue?), when our children were little Ken and I shared the responsibility of bathing them, we established quite the evening ritual. He dunked and scrubbed them and I dried and groomed them, that really sounds like dog grooming, but actually I think my kids could make a bigger mess. It was a huge family event most nights. I sat in the hallway, right outside the bathroom door, combs, brushes, a blow drier, detangle spray, and other various implements of hair and body weapons. I didn’t realize that I was creating such a memory until I heard my kids talking about it recently. Those precious moments, the half hour or more of time that I spent getting them ready for bed, those times weren't just spent lotioning them up and tugging at tangles, we spent time every night talking, laughing, and enjoying each others company.  I wish I had been even more present than I was in those moments, but the memory is there, and it’s such a sweet one.

Fallout usually has negative connotations, but it more broadly means "the results of a situation".  So, there’s fallout to being present in the moment, there’s fallout to spending time together, through good times and bad.  Here's the "fallout" of bath time and grooming rituals.  By the way, I love the scene I'm about to describe,  I love to watch the interaction of my daughters when my oldest fixes my youngest daughter’s hair. It’s so sweet. I’d like to think that I helped establish that in their lives, that desire to help someone look their best, to want to spend time with that other person, laughing, talking, brushing and combing. Here’s another example, my son, Blake, announced that he was going to go out to eat with his new girlfriend and that she was going to introduce him to her parents.  Oh, my goodness, that brought this reply from my oldest daughter, “Blake! You are not wearing that.” Both my daughters marched their brother upstairs to pick out a new outfit and to do his hair. Ken and I laughed as we listened to the frenzy of activity going on upstairs. I recall the girls talking to each other but not consulting with Blake about his wardrobe or hairstyle.  To their credit, he did look pretty sharp when they were done with him. "Fallout"... they love each other, they want to help each other to be their best and to look their best.  The "after the dinner briefing" would make another funny story on the differences of male and female perspectives.

Although there are times that I wish I could step back into a moment, I look more forward to future moments.  I sometimes have to remind myself to be present in this moment and to stop looking so much to the future.  As a mom,  I couldn’t hardly wait for my kids to talk; I would stare into their beautiful little faces and wonder what they were thinking.  I couldn’t wait to sign my kids up for dance; I wanted to see them twirling around on the stage. I couldn’t wait for that first football game; I wanted to see my son take someone down or do a victory dance in the end zone.  Letting my imagination run ahead and making plans for future moments has at times left me disappointed.  I think that’s exactly why we are disappointed with future moments; when we finally arrive there, they don't live up to our previous expectations.  As a result, I don't put much stock in future moments, they're but dreams in the mist, I will just let the future come on its own.

I can look back and be nostalgic about the past moments, but being present in the now moments has helped me be more engaged and happy about this moment, this moment right now. I can have more influence right now, this moment, than any other moment, it's the only moment I'm guaranteed to have.  So, what am I or what are you doing with your moments?  What could or should I do....Could I love more? Probably.  Could I forgive more?  Definitely.  Could I do more for others?  Yes!  Could I give more? Whatever it is, it's not mine to hold on to so tightly anyway, so yes, I could and should.  Right now, this moment, the world is full of endless possibilities. 

I think that’s what God wants from us too. He wants us to be fully engaged and present in this moment.   I need to ask myself, am I letting my attention be drawn away, so that I'm not fully engaged in this moment with my Savior?  What can I do in this moment, to know Him better, to serve Him more fully, and to be a better reflection of His glory? God already created the space and time in which you now find yourself, so show up every moment of everyday, fully prepared to love, to give, to forgive, to serve, and on and on. 

Have a Blessed day!  Have a blessed moment!

Life Is Out Ahead of You!

Recently I was talking to a friend about my oldest daughter and her boyfriend. They are both hugely enthusiastic about serving the Lord as their vocation and they both want to just get out there and do the thing.  Rachel is willing to go anywhere and minister to anyone who'll listen. She witnessed to someone at the mall a couple of months ago, she felt led to talk to this person sitting in the food court, so she did. She wasn’t daunted or scared, she approached with boldness, of course, my petite teenager comes across as anything but threatening. The person was receptive to what she had to say that afternoon. She may not have seen this person come to to know Christ, but she definitely planted a seed that day.

I love my daughter's and her friend's energy, it makes me feel exhausted just watching them, but I know how easily that energy can begin to ebb, so it’s a challenge to guide them to find a balance without killing their enthusiasm. I just wish that in my own life I'd not held back as much as I did. Their view of life right now reminds me of a line from  the movie Secretariat, "This is about life being ahead of you and you run at it" (as a parent I just need to be great jockey and know when to really give her some lead and when to rein things in because she’s still learning/training). Isaiah 30:21 says, "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it." I have a very active (over-active) imagination and someday I can just picture the Holy Spirit urging these kids with that gentle, but unwavering voice, “It's time, this is the way, now....GO FOR IT!" It will be a very exciting moment to see them running such a magnificent race.

I’ve been watching race footage of Secretariat and Man ‘O War (and not the movies, the actual horses).
When Secretariat won the race at Belmont Stakes in 1973, he won by 31 lengths, it was amazing to watch (catch it on YouTube). The jockey could have taken it easy when he saw that there wasn’t any threat to his winning the race, but instead he gave Secretariat his lead and he set a record. Paul urges us to fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith (2 Timothy 4:7, paraphrased). I want to urge my children, and even myself, towards the same goal, to not hold back, to run with perseverance the race marked out for us (Hebrews 12:1, paraphrased). When the race is over, did we have anything left? Or was it all poured out like a drink offering (Phil. 2:17; 2 Tim. 4:6)? Erma Bombeck wrote “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”

Praying for all to run a good race!
Karla Butters

“They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31